Letting My Heart Go
by Sax Fanatic
Summary: My first story to be put on FFN. Zim is dying. Tak actually cares. Heh, who knew she could do that?
1. The Truth

A long moan escaped my lips, as I felt a bolt of pain shoot itself through my body. I felt the chills as I laid on the stone cold ground. Questions poped in my head. None of them are stupid, for I really have no idea of what the answers are. I try to figure where I am, but the strain is to much on my eyes, and to much on my mind. But I think of questions, and that is all. Where am I? Why am I in so much pain? Why- The thoughts are cut off as I hear footsteps. There a ways away but they come closer. I can't see the wearer, but the shoes as I could tell were a pair of boots. Large boots. But I let my mind go back to ease as my head started to pound. I hear a squeak of a door. It hurt my head badly, but I did nothing about it. I kept my eyes closed as I heard the thumping of the boots stop. Then I heard breathing, and felt someone's (or something's) warm breath on my face. I ignored it as I tried to block all sounds, and thoughts from my mind. Then I felt someone's finger trail the sides of my face. I shuddered slightly at there touch. The creature that knelt beside me, cleared they throat, and swallowed hard. "Zim? Zim, A-Are you still alive?" the feminine voice stuttered. I said nothing but slightly nodded my head, leaving my eyes shut. I heard the voice sigh in relief. Then I heard what sounded like "Thank the gods..." I still hadn't seen this person. But I was curious, but I decided to wait. Wait, for my head hurt, badly. "Zim, I am truly sorry." whispered the voice. I gave up. I wanted to see the face of this voice. I slowly opened my eyes. Everything at first was nothing but blurry, and I couldn't tell what or who was standing over me. Seconds later my vision was normal. It was Irken, and on her light green face set a pair of dark purple eyes. I squinted harder trying to realize if my eyes were deceiving me. They were not. Tak, stood over me. Tak, the Irken female that hated me. Tak, the female that was behind the plans of my destruction one-hundred percent. I drew a breath as I prepared my pained body. "Tak. Tak, what, what, are you doing here?" I questioned her, as I stuttered slightly. She shook her head. And didn't say anything for what seemed like hours, but deep down I knew it was only seconds. Minutes at the most. "I, I wanted to say I was sorry." she said as she strayed her eyes to the concrete walls, trying to ignore my gaze. "B-But why Tak? Why do you want to app-apologize to me? You, you hate me." I said, as I tried to look at her face. "Because, I never meant for this to happen to you. I never meant for it to go this far. And now your dying, and its my fault." she said. I looked at her hard. Dear ole' Tak. The Tak that hated me. The Tak that had a hardened and cold heart, was actually admitting to her mistakes. I wanted to say I agreed that it was her fault. But something stopped me. I couldn't bring myself to say that. Not now. "T-tak, Its not your fault. The Tallest wanted me dead anyway. Don't blame yourself." I said, realizing I meant it. I knew the Tallest hated me, and I had finally excepted it. Tak looked at me in the eye. Her features soft. Her eyes were puffy from crying, and her antennae laid flat against her head. "Zim, Please don't die..." she said trailing off. I looked at her, and shook my head, as tears finally came to the corners of my eyes. I gasped for air, trying to keep myself alive just a little longer. "Tak, why shouldn't I die?" I questioned "I caused chaos on Irk. I never made a difference. I never had a life." I said as tears dripped down my cheeks. Tak drew a breath. I could tell this was hard for her but she said it. "Because, I need you Zim." she said taking a deep breath "I don't know why of all times I choose to feel this way, but Zim I think I, I love you..." she said trailing off at the end. I shook my head. "Tak, its to late. The end is here for me, but know, I loved you too." What had I said? Was I stupid? No I really meant. Tak, I'll miss you, and you will miss me, but know my dearest Tak that I will see you again." I paused a moment. "I will see you someday. Live your life to its fullest Tak. Accomplish things I could not. Make me proud, Tak. and I will see you again." I finished, taking what I knew would be my final breath in life. But before that I felt Tak lay next to me and wrap her arms around my cold body. I felt her hot tears on my cheek, and I heard her whimper. "I love you..." I whispered in her ear, as I let go. As I let my eyes slide shut. As I said my final goodbye to the world around me. 


	2. Can't Go On

Okay I forgot to put in the last one that this is a magor OOC... as you can tell, adn its also kinda a ZATR. And so you know this chapter is in Tak's POV, the other was in Zim's POV LATE Disclaimer: Invader Zim does nto belong to me! Not at all. It belongs to Jhonen Vasquez... mmhhmm... sure does. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was a dark night. Darker then usual.The air was cold and figid, and my body temperature lowered rapidly as I forced myself to face it. I laid on a cold concrete ground huddled against the body of a forgotten soul. A sould that would be forgotten because of me. The flesh of the Irken that laid beside me was colder then the air around me. It was cold, and made my body even colder. But I held onto it, praying that what happened never happened. Praying this was all a nightmare. But it wasn't. It was real. I was facing reality as it ran through my mind. Reality was the only thing I didn't want. I didn't want the small male beside me to be dead. But he was, and it was my fault. All my fault. I sighed as I finally let go of him and pulled myself to my feet. This male, Zim had told me to live my life to the fullest. To accomplish what he could not... But I can't do that. Not when he wasn't there to stand by my side. Not when his death tormented my mind. No, I couldn't do it. I couldn't go on without him. Then I heard two or more sets of boots coming down the hallway, towards the room Zim was kept, and that I was standing in. At first I thought of running, but I did not. I stood still, and silent. Only seconds later the Irkens had reached the outside of the door that lead inside this room. I swallowed and prepared myself for what was to come. The door was slung open. "Tak? what are you doing in here?" questioned a maculine voice, with a slight girly tone to it. I drew a breath "My, Tallest. I was, I was, saying bye to Zim..." I said trailing off. The red eyed Tallest, Red. scratched his head. "But why? I mean we gave you specific orders to keep everyone out of this room. When we said that we meant you aswell." said Red as he eyed me suspiciously. I just shrugged, and kept quiet as I thought a second. "I made a mistake my Tallest." I reported. "And what would that be?" questioned Purple. "Zim, shouldn't have been killed." I said "He was worth more then what we saw. Plus I think I loved him..." I said getting quieter with every word and finally trailing off. Red and Purple looked at each other, there eyes wide. then they smiled, before they burst out laughing. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I wiped them away before I push them aside and hurried out of the room. Out, and away from something that was sure to give me nightmares. I ran far as I could get, to where the maniacal laughing of my leaders were only a far off, mufled sound. I huddled in a corner as I let my legs give way and I shrunk helplessly to the floor. Then I fell asleep, crying silently huddled in my small corner. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N:Yea... I know I'm a pretty sucky writer... But thats my opinion you tell me what you really think. And I also might carry this story out more, depending on if peopel like it or not. 


	3. A Force

A/N: Okay so I decided to do another chapter. But only becasue a couple of you thought it needed to continue, and so I tried to think of something else to put into it, and well heres what I came up with. Oh and sorry about the way the other chapter were formatted, I'm still new to this. Written in 3rd person  
  
Disclamer: Zim and all Zim related characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez, so back off!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A Irken female curled herself up in a dark corner of a hallway. She seemed to be hideing herself from the world around her. She curled in a ball with her head setting on her knees. Tears ran down her face as she thought about what was her past and what was surly to come.  
  
"My life is ruined... Nothing can ever be the same again." she said quietly as more tears flowed from her eyes.  
  
Finally after another couple minutes had passed she slowly pulled herself to her feet. She wiped a tear from her eye as she walked down the long narrow hallway. Noises and voices buzzed through her head. Voices from the time she started her invader training, till what was only about a hour ago.  
  
She tried to shake off the thoughts, but the attempt failed. She walked into a different chamber and peared around. Nothing. Nothing but a empty silent filled this room. She sighed as she thought hard about something. She strained as she thought. She wanted nothing more but to make a right decision...  
  
... she thought she made it.  
  
She wiped more tears from her eyes as she bent down and pulled a big silver handled boot-knife from the side of her right boot. She stood off and pulled the cover off of it, and stared hypnoticly at the long shining blade.  
  
"Don't worry Zim... I'll be with you soon enough." she whispered.  
  
She started to pull the shining blade to her wrist when something stopped her. She couldn't move. She couldn't finish what she started. She just stood there. She started crying heavily as she attempted to pull the knife blade down and across her green colored wrist, but she could not move.  
  
"Stop it Tak." said a calm voice. Tak's eyes widened as she looked up. No one was there.  
  
"Who's there?" she asked. No answer, just silence.  
  
She pried her fingers open and dropped the blade. She moved her legs and feel backwards. She sat and buried her head in her hands. She muttered something unrecognizable, before she pushed herself back into a corner.  
  
She closed her eyes slowly. She needed more rest. And the strange thing is that she didn't want to rest, but something forced her, so minutes after her eyes where closed, she was asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Okay this chapter was kinda crumby, short, and was basically erelavent to the story, but I'm kinda stallin' here while I think of the final chapter, which I think I just figured out on what it is so um, I'll get to writing that. 


	4. Going On With Broken Hearts

A/N: Heh, I guess this will be the last chapter. Unless it ends up being another chapter where I just stall the story, but I'll try not to do that. Told in 3rd person.  
  
Disclaimer: Once more I'll say this, *sigh* Invader Zim and all related characters do not belong to me, but to Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tak curled up in a little ball slept quite roughly. She rolled around, and mumbled, sometimes letting out small screams. But none-the-less she didn't wake up. Instead her dreams took control.  
  
***Tak's dreams***  
  
Tak sat quietly in a small patch of white flowers. She sat stringing them together by there steams, making small flower necklaces and braclets. After awhile she stopped what she was doing and just stretched herself out on the flowers.  
  
She layed staring dreamily, happily at the sky. Then a shadow stood over her. She blinked a few times before she turned herself over.  
  
At first she couldn't tell what was standing over her. She just saw a pair of red sparkling eyes. She rubbed her eyes, as they focused themselves of the creature. For a quick second her eyes decieved her, and showed her Zim standing over her smiling. But as I said they had decieved her. Instead a large monster, with dull red eyes, and large fangs stood over her. On its head were a pair of large horns, and giant claws jutted out from its feet.  
  
Tak swallowed as she backed up. But the creature moved with her, not letting her move a foot away from it. She slowly pulled herself to her feet and ran away from it. It fallowed.  
  
She ran harder and harder, but so did the evilish looking creature. She soon tired and fell to her knees. She curled herself awaiting for the creature to attack. The attack never came. She opened one eye and looked at the direction the creature had been chasing her. It was gone. Nothing was there. But despite its dissapearance she covered her head again. When minutes passed she heard a slight laugh.  
  
Her head shot up so she could see who had made it. A short male with sparkling red eyes stood in front of her. His arms were crossed and he stared down at her smiling.  
  
"Zim? Zim, is that you?" she questioned shakily.  
  
What she thought was Zim laughed again and nodded. Tak, then, pulled herself to her feet and stood in front of him.  
  
She eyed him, before she fell forward into his open arms. He hugged her tight to him as she cried. Finally he pushed her away by the shoulders. He held her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes.  
  
"Tak. Tak, I want you to stop, and listen." he said calmly. Tak's crying ceased and she looked at him. "I miss you Tak, and I will until we can be together again." he told her. She nodded. "But, till then, please be happy or atleast try, okay?" he paused "No more of this suicide buisness. Be happy." he said as he kissed her forhead.  
  
She broke down in tears again.  
  
"But, Zim, I just want to see you again. I can't live without you." she cried. Zim shook his head.  
  
"I know. I know, Tak, but theres nothing I can do about it, you either." he paused "Just promise me this: Promise you will try to be happy. Promise me you will stop hurting yourself, cause I'm gone. Its not your fault." she said.  
  
"Zim, I'll do anythign for you... so yea... I'll try." she said silently as he pulled her to him again.  
  
Her tears stopped suddenly, and she lifted her head as she heard a loud roar in the distance. The monster had returned. And it charged at them. As it reached them, Tak awoke.  
  
***End Dream***  
  
She breathed hard as she wiped tears from her eyes and pulled herself to her feel. She thought a minute before she ran down the long narrow hall, down to the room she had last seen her Tallest.  
  
When she arrived, she saw them still there, poking at Zim's body and snickering. Tak's rage rose as she saw them.  
  
"Stop it!" she yelled.  
  
The pair turned and looked at her. Then they looked at each other, before they broke down laughing. Tak closed her eyes and counted backwards from ten.  
  
When her eyes reopened, she pushed Tallest Red to the ground, and kicked his side. Then she did the same to Purple.  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Purple in his whiny girly voice.  
  
Tak said nothing, she just walked over and bent by Zim's body. She shook her head before she lifted him, and walked back towards the door.  
  
"You took the one thing I needed most." she said, as she glared at them. "You ordered Zim's death, and now hes gone, and I'm alone." she said.  
  
"Hah! What a lie!" said Red. "Tak, you wanted him dead just as much as we did. You helped out." he told her.  
  
Tak's eyes widened and she lowered her head. Then someone whispered in her ear "tak, it really wasn't your fault..." She turned her head to see who said it, but no one was there.  
  
Tak sighed and gathered her courage as she turned back to her Tallests.  
  
"I know for a fact it wasn't my fault. Zim, he told me so." she said as she walked towards them.  
  
They just laughed harder. Tak gritted her teeth as she kicked her boot out in front of her, hitting Red in the right knee cap. She did the same to Purple.  
  
Both of the 'babies' were then on the ground clasping at there knee. Tak smirked as she marched out, carrying Zim's body over her shoulder.  
  
~~~  
  
Tak had burned Zim's body. That was what happened to all dead shoulders. They where honored and burned. So thats what Tak did. She had dressed adn burned Zim. No one had shown up but her, and Zim's insane robot Gir, and her own robot Mimi. She had found Gir ripped apart in a garbage can. She had pulled him out and fixed him.  
  
He still acted the same, but there was something different.  
  
He wasn't as disobediant and wild as before. It was if as soemthing had hit him, and he felt it. Gir had resently asked about why he felt it. She didn't answer him, but she knew why.  
  
He felt like her. Lost. Gir had lost his master, and friend, while she lost the person she had come to love more then anything.  
  
So now she sits watching a small fire burn in front of her. The same fire that she had burned Zim in. That was weeks ago, but a small flame was still there. It was still there to help her remember, and to warm and comfort her.  
  
Tak looked over at Gir, who laid still and silently on his back. He was stupid, but he knew what happened and it hurt him. Tak lowered her head and looked at the fire.  
  
"Give us more stregnth..." she pleaded silently. Then she turned to Gir "Gir, I'm goin' to go to sleep okay?" she said. Gir just nodded and didn't move.  
  
Tak shook her head as she slowly slid her eyes shut, and fell asleep.  
  
The End?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Well, sorry guys but I think this is where I'll have to leave you. I mean this is the end. Unless everyone wants another chapter, and I can think of one... but I doubt I can, so this will have to make do, okay? Well I gotta go think of something else to write now, so seeya! 


	5. Hurting In The Future

*sigh* I really didn't want to write another chapter to this, cause I ended it already, but since so many people wanted it, I decided to do ONE last chapter. Just to show you whats going on a couple years later. Written in Tak's POV, and Gir's POV.  
  
Disclaimer: All Invader Zim related characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tak's POV  
  
~~~  
  
Its been four years now. Four years since I found love and lost it. It still pains me though. Even after all this time, I still hurt. But I guess thats normal. I mean, why wouldn't I still hurt? I only lost the love of my life, and only realized that a few hours before his death.  
  
But atleast I've kept my promise to him. I've been trying to be happy. I'm mostly still hurting, and depressed, but I have recently found myself happy, haveing fun.  
  
Just the other day I met someone really sweet. We're friends, nothing more, and I don't plan it to be more. Cause I'm still gonna see Zim, and when i do, I wanna be ready for him, and not commited to some other guy that would join as well someday. So I'm staying alone. Not friendless. Just alone, single.  
  
Zim would probably tell me to do whatever made me happy. But just to tell the truth, I'm happy with just friends, nothing more. Besides no one else could ever live up to Zim.  
  
The Tallest have cooled off some. They were extremly pissed after I beat them up. But who would blame them? Its not everyday you get beat up by not only a girl, but a girl who is smaller then you. But since they are my leaders, I never told anyone about me doing that to them. Only the Gods know what would have happened, if I DID tell.  
  
I'm just glad that I'm doing better. And I'm happy knowing I still get to see Zim someday.  
  
~~~~ Gir's POV  
  
~~~~  
  
Master's gone. Hes all gone. Hes not coming back, ever. I miss him. He was my friend. A better friend then Pig, or my moosey could ever be. I wish he was still here with me. Or I wish I could have one more day with him.  
  
Tak has tried to explain to me where, and why he went. It kinda makes sence but not really. She told me he was tired, and hurt. That he had to go away from the pain. That he went to live in the skys.  
  
Tak, cries a lot, and thinks about going away too. I plead her not to, and I think she finally decided to stay. I'm happy. Cause I miss master, and I don't want to miss her too. It hurts to miss people.  
  
Tak has recently sent me to a programming place. She says I'm gonna be smarter, and be able to forget about master, and not be sad anymore. She says it will be better that way, but I don't believe it. Not one words of it. I don't wanna foget my master. So shes given up trying to get me to go that place.  
  
I guess I'm smarter in a way. Tak has said things about it lately. I've realized I was really stupid, and still can be. But since I was never the robot my master wanted I've just tried harder.  
  
But I wish I could see master again. I can't though. I'm a robot, he was a real creature. So when I die, or get shut down, or whatever happens, I'll just go away... I'll never see him again.  
  
So I say "I love you master, and always will. And I miss you. I'm trying my best, and I'm doing okay..." I say that in hope he can hear me. And sometimes I think he can...  
  
~~~ Tak's POV ~~~  
  
I sit humming to myself. I hum a song of memories. Zim and I, we never had a song. But thats because we were in love only a little while before his death. I pull the memory out of my mind. The memory that we were never really together. I pull it out, and pretend I throw in in the wastebasket that is across the room from me.  
  
Gir, he sits quietly next to my chair. In his hand is a rubber pig. His friend, he calls it. He lays it down and stares at the ground sadly.  
  
I reach down and pat his head. He doesn't move. Poor Gir.  
  
"Gir, its been four years now" I tell him "Shouldn't you try and do something, you need to get over it. What happened is over. Make use of what you have left.  
  
Gir sits quietly not moving. But I can tell by the look in his small, circular, blue eyes that he is thinking. Finally he looks up at me. He stares hard. He nods as he pulls himself from the ground and wanders out of the room.  
  
The poor thing. Why can't he just get over it? Whats done is done. I'm not over it, but I'm doing better... hes as bad as when it first happened. I shake my head, and close my eyes.  
  
I think of Zim. I think of what he would do if he saw Gir like this. It wasn't normal at all for Gir to act like this. He was normally loud, and annoying, not quiet and still. He has also changed the way his head works. Hes grown smarter over the years (?) I think thats what I should say, but its still hard to tell with him.  
  
~~~ Gir's POV ~~~  
  
I walke silently up a small hill. At the top, the memorial I made for my master. Every Irken is burnt after they die, but a memorial is still built so you can always remember them.  
  
I sit in front of the small stone, that is made of a beautiful stone. Its white, and has his name, and birth and death date written on the side.  
  
"Master," I say "Please forgive me. Forgive me for everything I did to you. Every time I disobeyed or got you in trouble, forgive me for it." I pause "Master, I can't say anymore. Except I miss you."  
  
I don't know what else to say. I strain to think of something else. But can't. Nothing comes to mind.  
  
I curl myself in a little ball, and think.  
  
I'm half asleep, when I hear something. Its like someones whispering in my ear, but when I turn to see whos there, theres nothing. But I slowly let my systems shut down, leaving my listening abilities on.  
  
Then I hear it. A whisper of the wind. It tells me this "Gir, my friend, I'm here. You don't know it, but I am. I want you to stop. Stop trying to be what your not, be yourself. And I miss you too." thats what it told me.  
  
It was strange, but comforting.  
  
So I decide when my systems return to their normal state, I'll stop it. I'll be my normal self. No more brains. No more sadness. No more quietness.  
  
I'm listening to what it said. I'm listening to what my master had just told me...  
  
  
  
  
  
The End  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~  
  
Hey people. Yes I know I even made Gir OOC, but it happens when you try to write something as deep as this. I can't help it. I mean for me its hard... because I kinda know how Gir and Tak should feel. I think I got their emotions about right. I know I got them right. I know how it feels to lose someone you love and adore, but I won't go on about that. So anyway, I hope you liked it. And believe me when I say, I won't do another chapter to this. This was the last. But don't worry, I'm already coming up with ideas for my next story. 


End file.
